Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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