Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
