6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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