Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
