It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
