I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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