We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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