dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
