then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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