my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
