drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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