i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
