He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
