I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
