Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
