Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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