Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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