whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
