My first STD was from a foam party
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
