I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Randomize
