i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
