We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
