Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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