Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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