I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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