Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
