It's like a parade of train wrecks.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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