I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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