hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
