i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
