GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
