i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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