ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
