if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
