Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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