using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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