that's an acceptable place to lick
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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