yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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