you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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