You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
