she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
