yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is it because I queefed?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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