So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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