I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
