All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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