Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
