ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
