Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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