I wannas sexs uuuuu
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
