I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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