You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
